New Jersey and You, Perfect Together, maybe.

Recently a-what if-came true. In these moments people choose to cope in different ways, me, I usually turn to music, well music and booze. I think I choose music because I consistently fail at achieving any sort of success in the area. Failed saxophone lessons, failed piano lessons, failed attempt at the clarinet, failed guitar lessons, drums even worse and failed singing voice (however! not my fault). Because of this I look to others for inspiration and solace.

I e-mailed 6 of my favorite music loving friends and asked them to make a Top five list. Top five songs you would want played at you funeral, top five songs you listen to when down or top five songs you listen to motivate. One person responded, one person made an attempt over IM, two people blatantly ignored, one said he couldn't think of anything and one sent an e-mail a week later, "my bad."(Update: He mulled it over and sent a top 5 today. It's pretty darn good, thanks!) I was a bit surprised but I guess the topic is a bit morbid. The one who did respond was not surprising, I was picturing it more as, if they made a movie of your life what song would be playing in the final scene. I think he viewed it the same, especially since he believed it was a very thought provoking exercise and he is currently writing a screen play.

I hopped the plane with my new Top Five list and began the trek back home. And trek it was. I showed up at SFO to hear over the loud speaker, "Last call paging passenger Kristin XXXXXX, please report to gate 10 for your flight to JFK." I sprinted to the gate to find out tonight we had a celebrity pilot, the bassist from Oingo Boingo. (Great, I'm definitely going to end up in the Hudson, hopefully he's a better pilot than bass player.) Not to hate on Oingo Boingo but....

I finally arrive in NYC in one piece. This weekend was full of emotions and already I was a bit uncertain. It was comforting to be surrounded by the people I grew up with, stressful because I was about to come face to face with the reason I left, and extremely, extremely sad. No one really knew why I left, not even my best friend. She looked at me and said, well I'm glad you didn't tell me until now, I probably would have decked him, she, however, wasn't the first to say that.

My friend brought his new girlfriend and at one point she leans over and says, "You guy are just like my friends, except you all interdated a lot more than mine." After more thought, a partial rundown, turning bright red at dinner and someone else asking how we all know each other, yes, yes indeed. There's just something about sitting across the table from your 15 year old fling, 13 years later. Some things never change. I am demanding a tree from Kelly, it may involve weeks, large sheets of paper, numerous magic markers and a lot of scotch tape.

What good came out of this weekend? Closure maybe, a reconvergence, a chance to say goodbye, celebration of life and many, many fond memories.

Don't be scared...

Recently I started to write a memoir. Sure I'm a bit young and what exactly have I accomplished in the past 28 years but it was either write a paper for school or start my memoir. It's amazing how easily I can knock out 10 pages in two hours when I care about the topic. Basically the blog inspired the back story so for the next few posts I'm covering part of how this blog came to be.

My friend sent me a text a few days ago regarding the blog. Her friend was considering online dating so her and 4 of her friends sat around and read a few posts. It was her warning and initiation into the world she was about to enter. However, after thinking a bit more about it I began to think, these crazy online dates are the norm for me. A trip to the grocery is rarely just a trip to the grocery store. So maybe its not a warning, its probably just me. Case in point.

I went to my cousin's wedding about five years ago. They have about 50 cousins, not joking, so my sister and I were placed at a table with part of his other cousins, you know the ones that your family cheats on you with. I always feel like but your my cousin, how can you be someone else's cousin, well you can. I can't even remember the guy's name but here I was sitting next to the enemy. I semi-ignored him in the beginning but he seemed nice so we chatted, heck, we're almost family.

Well......he didn't think so. He asked me to dance so I said sure, again reiterating, we may not share DNA but we share a family member and you can't really say no. Anyway, by the end of the night he's asking for my phone number and I didn't know how to turn down someone who is related to someone I'm related to. He was quite persistent too, called for probably a week or so. I mean how can that possibly work? Something about only three sides of a family at a wedding freaks me out.

Hello thank you for coming, which side are you on: Bride or Groom? Both.

So for all my five readers and the two I might have scared off, it's not the arena, it's moi. It shouldn't be as tragic.

Kristin, Kristin-why ya buggin?

Wow, I'm really fucking jaded and this blog proves it. Its a trainwreck of, "Oh crap-that kind of shit only happens to you" stories. So I've been discussing with my friends this newly discovered issue and I've gotten:

1. Wow you are jaded! This needs to be fixed.
2. That was harsh!
3. No, I think its good you noticed and can now reflect
4. [12:21]: I was in the bathroom and had these thoughts:
[12:21]: women say "that's it, i'm giving up on men" and it's totally fine
[12:22]: but if a guy says "that's it, i'm giving up on women" that's totally gay
Editor's note-I never said I was giving up on men, this was just a random thought of his.
5. Finally when is it appropriate to use douchebag and what makes a douchebag different than a jerk. Are only white guys douchebags or does it cross ethnic lines?

I just got back from Colorado and I'm really happy I flew my laptop out there since I did zero work! This laziness continues, I've had a super hard time of getting back to normal life-aka studying, running and attempting to be productive. Instead, I was convinced I needed to watch 4 hours of True Life and 2-3 hours of Britney Spear's pre-show/comeback documentary/aftershow. I've also recently become obsessed with avocados, Berlin (the band) and artichokes with yogurt and lime. I've eaten one every Sunday and Monday for the past month.

What I am not obsessed with is Kanye West's new CD. He's playing with us, hey guys look at me, I'm so awesome I can write an album in a 3 weeks, sing and you'll still buy it-"take that, take that." Yeah! I managed to slip in a Run DMC and Diddy reference into one blog. Speaking of Run DMC the new Adidas originals commercial is pretty sick, well the song is at least.

I just looked at my calendar on my desk and its still on October 29th. A whole month went by and I couldn't manage to update it. Thankfully today is that day because December is the best month of the year. Today's saying on my Chinese calendar, "Tian liang le: tian bian xian chu le yi xian yu du bai." And for those who can't read it, well even if you did read pingyin you wouldn't be able to read it without tone markers; "The dawn is breaking: the distant horizon has shown a streak of fish belly white." I have no idea what that means, your thoughts are welcome.

Finally today I made a Christmas sweater- ok not literally but virtually. Its awesome, I support any website that you can put a panda with a bow on a sweater. http://weloveholidaysweaters.wehatesheep.com/?id=10918&t=jl1Fcplh
Nothing says Christmas like a panda!!

Yes people this is what I have accomplished over the past two days.

Anyway, so I don't ramble on forever, you know you're pretty jaded when you leave a new city and think, wow, the people here are nice and it took you 4 days to realize and accept that.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

You know I try and be respectful in a world that you don't necessarily have to. People don't call each other back all the time, ignore texts or say, "yeah I had fun" and walk away thinking, "what an A-Hole!" Me, I prefer to take the honesty route, ok, ok, honesty in time, but respect first and foremost. I have a hard time when people ask for my number, I tend to give it out. So after said date last week I panicked and gave it out. He called twice last week and I ignored his call, instead I decided I'd use the e-mail template from my friend and let him know I wasn't interested. Last night I was finally able to make it online and shot out a super cordial e-mail.

"It was good to meet you. I wasn't trying to be rude by not calling you back, I probably shouldn't have given you my number to begin with. You seem very nice but I don't think its going to work out. Good Luck!"

Nice, right? I don't completely believe in ignoring calls, I prefer to be put out of my misery and attempt to do the same to others. This is what I got back this morning...

"Its not my fault you have bad taste!"

WOW!!! That's what I'm talking about super hero, unnecessary attitude. I guess some people always need to have the last word.

Alright the gig's up!

I've finally figured it out, you guys can stop the charade and its time to come clean. Truman was let out of his fake world, eventually, time to let me sail to Fiji.

What am I talking about? Life. Why is it every time I go out with a guy it feels like I am on candid camera. Case in point.

Sunday evening I had some time and decided ok, I'll give this guy a shot, he seems normal and looks like he has a sense of humor. He also worked with my extremely busy schedule, 6 reschedules when we finally found a date that worked.

We met down at Fritz, he was late, maybe 10 minutes or so, not a huge deal but I was hungry. I had heard about the fries and was hoping they were as awesome as their reputation. We walked in and I said, ok so how does this work, am I supposed to find 3 toppings that all compliment each other or is each one independent of the other? And he looked at me like I asked the dumbest question of the week and responded, you aren't getting fries. Oh but I can buy my own fries and it takes about 4 minutes to get them ready......nevermind.

I was alloted one soda.

Then he asked, how was my weekend and I said; I went to wine country with some friends, rented a limo, had a really great time, relaxing yet fun. And I asked him, how was your weekend, response: I went to wine country with some friends, rented a limo, had a really great time, relaxing yet fun. I said no really, and he stared at me. Sense of humor, maybe, or socially awkward, perhaps.

We sat down and it was like pulling teeth. So what do you do? "I'm a super hero." Ok what's your day job super hero? "I'm a full time super hero." ok but all super hero's have a day job. Batman-Bruce Wayne Enterprises, Superman-Journalist, Spiderman-Photographer, Iron Man-Tycoon. "That's a blanket statement, so if I list off 5 items that are green, everything is green? I don't have a day job I am a super hero, Batman didn't really have a day job, he was a billionaire." Wow, he's a figure head of a company and lives his public life as that head, that is his alter ego, that is his "job."

I was annoyed, new topic. So do you have any siblings? Yes. Are they girls or boys? Girls. Um..where do you sit in the family order. They are younger 5 and 8 years. No elaboration. There were also actual questions he refused to answer and just stared at me. I had to ask repeatedly to get answers out of him, if he bothered. If you really hate the conversation, why don't you steer this ship, I have no problem relinquishing control of the vessel . Also while staring at me he did this thing with his face and I couldn't tell if it was a nervous tic, no biggie, or if it was on purpose. I almost felt like it was a joke and he was trying to get me to react.

When he finally talked a bit he accused me of trying to impress him and pretending to know about baseball when I really didn't. Impress him!! The only thing I knew about this guy was he's a super hero from Wisconsin, who plays soccer and drinks bud. How can I possibly be trying to impress him about baseball when I have no clue if he likes it. His test? How many balls does it take for a batter to get on base? If you are going to be a jerk at least use a harder question, and yes I told him that-minus the jerk bit. He also got offended when I called him a cheesehead since he was a Packers fan. My bad.

It was an extremely rough hour, I was this [---] close to blurting out, you are the most difficult human being I have ever met!!!! Thankfully instead he said, Time to go. Relief poured over me. I followed him out, stopped to say, thanks when he starts talking....he had a good time and wanted my phone number, Wow Chandler! Let's put this out of our misery son, no need for pseudo-pleasantries. I think he's related to the band-aid guy.

True love means....

[14:47] isxxxxxyan: i adore amy for some reason
[14:48] isxxxxxyan: i think it's because i would like to have a girlfriend, who despite my attempts to fondle her grandmother, or pretend to be a latino VP of sales, or raped by a bum -- will still love me when the credits roll

The Craigslist Experiment

About a month ago I put an ad on craigslist, again curiosity got the best of me and there it was, "Scrabble Anyone?" I really had no intentions of actually meeting anyone but after hearing many stories, some successful some not so sucessful I had to see for myself. My friend said watch out, you are going to get tons of responses. "Even without a picture?" I asked, too embarrased to put one. She still said yes.

I signed on to my gmail the following day with anticipation and there was 1 e-mail. 1!! He seemed like a nice guy after reading the intro but his picture looked familiar. I really couldn't place him but knew I had seen him before. I agreed to send my photo back with the comment, I think I have seen you around and with his reponse he hit it right on the head, one of the local bars.

We e-mailed a few times over the weekend and then he blew me off, oh well. Thinking the story ended there I laughed it off, one ad on craigslist, one response, and I recognize the guy. Not only do I recognize the guy, he knew a pony that never really left the gate. Figures.

Recently I went out with that pony turned friend and there he was, the craigslist guy on the other side of the room. I managed to control my curiousity and not go do the awkward, "I think we know each other thing" but man I was tempted, TEMPTED!! Who knows what would of came out of my mouth after that so I decided to sit quitely and behave. I'm pretty sure he recognized me but I can't be certain.

I'm not sure what to take from this, besides I live a very coincidental life. I have yet to understand why things play out the way they do but at the very least its always entertaining.