Monday, February 2, 2009

I just called, to say....

So I'm proud to say I haven't been on any terrible dates lately, or any for that matter, but its a good thing not bad. This post was actually inspired by the Facebook 25 things note that has been going around. I did a quick rundown in my head and one of them was I have a love-hate relationship with technology and would love to write a thesis on the popularity of cell phones and its affect on booty calls/dating. I figure this blog is a better venue to unpack that theory. Ok, you think I'm joking but I'm not. Just think back to your life pre-cell phone and your life post-cell phone.

My life pre-cell phone. I had to go back to my room or find a pay phone to call my boyfriend, boy toy, gentleman friend, whatever you want to call it. Then he had to be in his room to even get my call. There might be 3 or 4 missed calls a night. I vividly remember calling one from a pay phone at the Blue Triangle lounge down on Fillmore to try and coordinate plans. And that only happened once. Being drunk enough to find a quarter and a pay phone was dedication. Another time I forwarded my dorm phone to my friend's dorm phone. That was a bit more common.

My life post cell phone. Three AM my phone beeps from some guy typing out some drunk text, "hey wanna come over?" And who knows that could of been a mass text and he was hoping one of us would respond. Pre-cell phone he never would have called that late. I've actually had to make a rule about two years ago that I wouldn't respond to texts after midnight. Even now, I receive some of the lewdest texts from people, the stuff they think they can get away with is unbelievable just because they are hiding behind a key-pad. I can't even put some of it on here it is that bad, straight out of a porno. I've definitely stopped responding to those. Sometimes I get a message the next day, sorry I was drunk, sometimes I don't.

Now taking this one step further. I was at a Superbowl party yesterday and this girl starts talking to me about dating and forms of communication. There was two discussions going on. Does one wait for the three day rule to contact someone and how does this apply to texting. She met a guy at a bar and got his number. Then she went home and sent a text, "Hey I had a great time." He responds back, "Me too." Then the next morning, she responds back and he responds back again, with a conversation closing statement. So what now? Well you make the guy call you or you call him but you do not get into a text message relationship. (that is my feelings on the subject and that is the advice I gave her. I also said the 3 day rule is antiquated.)

Anyway, from there we hit the conversation of technology and dating. She said she refuses to add anyone she dates to her Facebook, Myspace, Friendster, G-chat, AIM, Yahoo, MSN, Bebo, linked in or e-mail. She may be on to something. Apparently the NY Times tackled this issue last friday. It all seems so unpersonal. You used to date a guy and then you'd break up, bam they are gone from your life if you choose but not anymore. If you really want to you need to delete them from all of the above named items. And these social networks are the worst. There they are staring at you when you log on, "So and so is now in a relationship." No thank you.

Even with all of this I am the worst. One time I gave a guy my house number and he actually called. So I tried to get off quick but he asked for my yahoo so I gave him that. The next day there was bob-xxxxx im'ing me. So then I had to break it off via IM. Its my own fault for letting it get through two vessels of communication. I thought my, I'm not ready to date someone was sufficient enough, well he gave me 4 months and im'ed to see if I was over it. I had to say no. He im'ed a week later, I had to block him.

There you have it. I honestly think cell phones have dumbed-down dating, cell phones and technology. Will I still text, yes. When I get drunk should I throw my phone in the bay, yes. If I date you will I add you to my facebook, probably. But I do admit sometimes I long for the days where they had to send a letter or make a phone call. It was so much more personal and appreciated.

So if anyone wants to fund me to do research and see if booty calls have in fact risen with the popularity of cell phones please e-mail me. I need a change in career.

1 comment:

Unknown said...

Here's my take on technology. It allows us to hide behind a keyboard. It allows us to become cowards. Our social skills have been stunted and for those who grew up on technology - it saddens me to know that many will grow up without the social skills needed to interact with real people. Honestly, it's easier to get rejected via text b/c you can always delete as opposed to being in person and having to respond. Also, one can argue - text msgs has diminished our ability to think on our toes, to be articulate, to be able to reason and rationize at the spot.