New Jersey and You, Perfect Together, maybe.

Recently a-what if-came true. In these moments people choose to cope in different ways, me, I usually turn to music, well music and booze. I think I choose music because I consistently fail at achieving any sort of success in the area. Failed saxophone lessons, failed piano lessons, failed attempt at the clarinet, failed guitar lessons, drums even worse and failed singing voice (however! not my fault). Because of this I look to others for inspiration and solace.

I e-mailed 6 of my favorite music loving friends and asked them to make a Top five list. Top five songs you would want played at you funeral, top five songs you listen to when down or top five songs you listen to motivate. One person responded, one person made an attempt over IM, two people blatantly ignored, one said he couldn't think of anything and one sent an e-mail a week later, "my bad."(Update: He mulled it over and sent a top 5 today. It's pretty darn good, thanks!) I was a bit surprised but I guess the topic is a bit morbid. The one who did respond was not surprising, I was picturing it more as, if they made a movie of your life what song would be playing in the final scene. I think he viewed it the same, especially since he believed it was a very thought provoking exercise and he is currently writing a screen play.

I hopped the plane with my new Top Five list and began the trek back home. And trek it was. I showed up at SFO to hear over the loud speaker, "Last call paging passenger Kristin XXXXXX, please report to gate 10 for your flight to JFK." I sprinted to the gate to find out tonight we had a celebrity pilot, the bassist from Oingo Boingo. (Great, I'm definitely going to end up in the Hudson, hopefully he's a better pilot than bass player.) Not to hate on Oingo Boingo but....

I finally arrive in NYC in one piece. This weekend was full of emotions and already I was a bit uncertain. It was comforting to be surrounded by the people I grew up with, stressful because I was about to come face to face with the reason I left, and extremely, extremely sad. No one really knew why I left, not even my best friend. She looked at me and said, well I'm glad you didn't tell me until now, I probably would have decked him, she, however, wasn't the first to say that.

My friend brought his new girlfriend and at one point she leans over and says, "You guy are just like my friends, except you all interdated a lot more than mine." After more thought, a partial rundown, turning bright red at dinner and someone else asking how we all know each other, yes, yes indeed. There's just something about sitting across the table from your 15 year old fling, 13 years later. Some things never change. I am demanding a tree from Kelly, it may involve weeks, large sheets of paper, numerous magic markers and a lot of scotch tape.

What good came out of this weekend? Closure maybe, a reconvergence, a chance to say goodbye, celebration of life and many, many fond memories.